First Sorry that I was late on posting Zoe this week. I know I said ILMB would become secondary but I found myself really in a pickle with the story that became very motivating so I did a LOT of drawing, just not the most productive of drawing.

If you look at the screenshot you can see that currently I have 26 different files open in Clip Studio 20 of them are ILMB drawings. I have 9 pages now sketched for it as well as 4 more pages that are sketched but are unconnected at the moment and not sure if they will make the cut.

I am finding myself seduced by the idea of putting hardcore sex in the comic. Drawing is stressful and I am self conscious about my abilities as an artist and porn is easy. I don’t mean that it takes less work but there is a relief in drawing porn because the stakes are much lower. Drawing porn means you have 1 clear hurdle to pass. IS IT SEXY? if so you succeed even if it only amounts to some stick figures. Drawing something that isn’t porn means that its got to work on multiple levels to woo an audience, and I’ve always struggled with the art, then with writing I struggle a bit with pacing.

Storytelling in a comic isn’t as easy as many of you think, and I get a lot of complaints for jumping ahead but ask yourselves do you really want me sitting there and showing every little insignificant thing that happens between the vignettes? Even just transitioning a bit more fluidly would often add an entire superfluous page to every arc that serves no real purpose in the grand scheme of things and, a bigger sin in a porn comic, would NOT be sexy.

With ILMB right now I am working on an arc where Jordan agrees to have sex with a long time male friend at the request of her and the boy’s father. It is a tricky thing to portray without getting the wrong message across and to not stray too far from the underlining point of the arc. The arc is there to establish some dated views on both a woman’s place and homophobia through christian ideals. I am in a balancing act with these while also showing the strong bond between Jordan and her dad. Its like looking at the Middle East and going “they all hate women” but clearly the majority love their mothers, sisters, daughters, and wives but are in a culture that has a conflict with viewing them as equal. So similarly I am trying to show that Jordan’s dad loves her and is deeply proud of her but also views her worth is in being a “good christian woman” and using her body for “the lords work” in turning her future husband straight.

As far as whether they actually have sex I haven’t 100% decided. I’ve drawn 4 pages worth of that arc but might still go a different route. I try to not set things in stone and let things move forward naturally. So I have 2 separate paths in mind I might take it. I might have Jordan try to turn him and in the end it is hopeless (which will come up when she starts having her own feelings that she is fighting against) or maybe he can’t perform and shows the futility of trying to deny your sexual side. I’m also trying to not unintentionally recreate the movie SAVED (which if you haven’t seen I highly recommend watching) so am trying to avoid something like she thinks she did the “lords work” only to find him getting sent away for being gay and the giving away her virginity having been pointless( well in Saved it wasn’t as she got knocked up… but point still stands).

I am not sure when the comic will be posting (if it will) part of me wants to wait and see if Dreams will release before years end and try to use that for the comic but at the same time I fear if I keep waiting for Dreams I will be waiting forever. For now I am just trying to focus on sketches and won’t be doing any further finished pages for a while. I am going to try to draw and write up all the pages that lead to where the comic originally started before I really set down and draw them. I may also change the character designs, Jordan’s hairstyle is bothering me so might change that though I like her very large breasts. I like a busty character that has the more realistic sag while being skinnier than you’d see in a girl with something like a H cup. Having a lot of fun drawing Jordan naked and that might be a little part of the fact that I am trying to justify her being naked as much as possible (page 4-7 are completely nude)

So please chime in on what you want out of this comic. I draw these comics for you guys and starting one and getting the tone and everything just right is a bit stressful will they like it? am I just wasting my time? those sort of insecurities distract. So I am writing this to kinda show where I am at with the comic and to call on you all to help determine the direction and focus.