Audrey pg2
I am so fucking pissed right now. For the last 5hrs I have been watching the Game Awards for nothing. No dreams release date or beta announcement. The show was a huge boring circle jerk of game developers and even more laughable E sports “athletes”. I hate award shows but I sat through it because it was leaked that the release date for Dreams as well as for Death Stranding and The Last of Us 2 were all getting announced there… None were. A ton of games I couldn’t give a rats ass about were (MK11 is alright I guess) but still for 5 hours I held out hope. The game is coming in beta this month, it has been confirmed by MM multiple times, and they even built a special world last week exclusively for beta players to be able to screw around in when the beta launches. I’ve been waiting for this game for 6 years, and every year I have been left disappointed. I have put a lot of faith in this game and what it could allow me to do, I just want to get it in my hands so I can finally know what is REALLY going to be possible with it. I’ve been in a limbo for years working a shit job and wanting a way to “break out” and do what I really want to do with my life (make movies and games). I see so much potential in Dreams to allow me to start on that path with little funny animations as well as taking Zoe to somewhere greater than I can with my limitations as an artist. Just really depressed to yet again be no closer to Dreams, and my dreams.
With that rant out of the way. I have made a bit more progress in my one shots. Been slow going the past week or so and am still on page 7 of lines with the second one shot. I felt like coloring earlier today so started coloring the first page of the mother incest oneshot. I am really happy with how it looks and think it is the best coloring I’ve done (though it took forever, about 3 hours for what I’ve colored so far…)
Have a look.
I have no idea when these one shots will be done but am hoping for by February.
1st page “ew gross a fat guy”
2nd page “HEY CHUBBY GIMME YOUR CHUBBY”
The sad part is this is your general pacing and storytelling which is why so many of us get annoyed with your writing. Work on it Yellow, holy shit please. Also I’m waiting to watch Zoe go the same route Bully did where it either never shows back up or goes to some horribly outlandish level that its not recognizable anymore.
dude, I’m sure this is no surprise to you, but you are an asshole.
Now go back and reread the last page and work on your reading comprehension.
I fully understand anon’s confusion about her sudden change of mind.
These two pages don’t make sense, without reading your explanation below. Apparently the guy is her boyfriend, that you introduced in a very old version of Zoe. That means if someone hasn’t read your early work he won’t understand their relationship. That’s not how a comic works. It shouldn’t need a wall text to be comprehensive.
I also have to agree on your style of writing being kind of annoying. You are constantly whining about not knowing where to go with the story, so you start jumping from idea to idea. That makes it seem very inconsistent.
My suggestion is to take a break for a few months, make a plan where to go and maybe prepare a couple dozen pages.
And finally, for the love of everything, learn to take criticism, even if it’s harsh. I’ve noticed multiple times that your responses to criticism tend to be aggressive.
This guy is a troll, this is not criticism. Anon has commented numerous times and they always come from a place of antagonization.
As for the pages, I think on their own they make perfect sense.
You like Anon seem to miss the punchline of the first page completely and that is why I brought up reading comprehension.
His argument (and yours as well I think) is that in the first page she is “sickened” by him, which is totally not the case at all. There is a fake out of her being “reviled” in the second to last panel but the final panel puts it all in perspective when she says “you have to pull out” (I wish a sexy strange woman would greet me with the offer of sex as long as I don’t creampie her).
As for my writing style I agree its not perfect but it is what works. I have a hard time following through and keeping my interest in a particular project for very long (ADD) so by letting things happen organically instead of having them outlined out and planned way in advance it allows the process of drawing to be a journey instead of a task.
You seriously can’t take any critism.
First off, that was a very subtle joke (especially since the dude said “come” and not “cum”). Even if you knew they were dating, it is very easily overlooked.
And he’s right, you constantly have your characters saying “no” in one page/panel and then fucking in the next.
So to even the odds a bit.
Yea, reading comprehension and general contextual arc illiteracy does seem to be a growing problem online lately. (Could just be more people are becoming impatient rude dumbasses too.)
Anyway. Solid B+ on the largely black and white based artwork and drawing style! You’ve noticeably improved over the last year and it shows!
Storyline and sub arcs are a bit ADD at times but compared to many other comics you are still substantially better thought out and you do put an effort into giving everyone a peak into your thought process of where you are and want to go even if you dont get there as you thought you would.
I admit I can be a bit “ADD” with writing. I try to keep things open enough to where I have a bit of freedom to take things wherever I happen to want at a given moment which is the only reason incest ever was introduced. One day I was like I feel like drawing Zoe walking in on her uncle jerking off… Then things just snowballed and it has become a major focus in the comic.
Thanks for the kind words about my art. I try to always improve but am still really held back in a lot of ways by my art and it dictates the story many times because there are things I want to draw that I just am not capable of doing justice and so I steer the story in other directions. I am hoping that whenever Dreams does come out it will at the very least give me a tool to be able to draw without any limitations based on my ability. (hoping for being able to do it all in dreams but if it looks like shit I can always use it as a reference tool for things like drawing classrooms full of desks chairs and people which is one thing I’d like to do but don’t think I am up for all that perspective without things looking really off).
Wow. Never felt the need to comment before but Anon is a worthless troll.
I can appreciate the difficulty in balancing story and sex in a once weekly strip.
Thanks for sharing your work FOR FREE. In return, I’ll let my imagination fill in the gaps when you decided to skip a frame or two to move things along.
Don’t you love it when people take the easy bait?
Yes, it’s funny as hell to see people who so pathetic they will go to the lowest point of loserdoms existences just to get any attention, even negative, they can from utter strangers!
How shitty does one’s personal life have to be that they have to deliberately make themselves look like pathetic tools just to get anyone to interact with them in anyway at all?
Don’t know myself, but I have to suspect to be that way takes being in a special kind of personal social hell for some time to get there!
So care to enlighten us on how you got to that point? Daddy issues? Mommy to fat to come down the stairs and tuck you grown ass in to bed at night? Something else?
Since you want attention, by all means explain how you get to where you are being I am sure everyone who reads your work would love to know!
The stage is yours so let it rip! All ears and eyes are on you!